Kay

“So in the name of “headship” or “leadership” a normally good husband may start tilting towards the side of dominating, while a normally good wife, in the name of “submission”, may start withdrawing or yielding unhealthily to the husband. ”

Nicole,
Good comments! I can relate to the quote above. My husband and I were already 15 years into our “mutually submitting” marriage, when we spent about a year and half in a comp/patri. church. The teaching on marriage began to influence our relationship – and not for the better. It was not helping either one of us mature in Christ and it was ruining the “one flesh” unity and close friendship we had always enjoyed. We had to leave, even though it meant leaving many of our friends and fellow homeschoolers. That was about 13 years ago and we have no regrets – in fact our relationship has continued to grow stronger.
We don’t regret the experience we had seeing inside comp/patrio circles because it made us realise the blessing of our relationship that is built on mutual submission. It also helped us understand the comp/patrio teachings from the inside and gave us a first hand look at marriages and families trying to live under it.
Paradigms that are built on “differences” rather than things shared encourages “separation,” not unity.
Yes, men and women have differences, but “equality is not the same as uniformity.” It’s not impossible to appreciate both our differences and commonalities at the same time. And I totally agree that having equal authority is the foundation for both to develop as mature Christians.