ἀλλήλοις

Summary

ἀλλήλοις is a genuinely reciprocal pronoun meaning "one another" — when Paul uses it in Ephesians 5:21 ("submitting to one another"), the mutual direction is built into the word itself. This demolishes the complementarian claim that submission in the household codes flows only from wife to husband.

Morphology

• Form: ἀλλήλοις (allēlois) — dative masculine/neuter plural
• Lemma: ἀλλήλων (allēlōn) — reciprocal pronoun, "of one another"
• Related form: ἀλλήλων — genitive form of the same pronoun
• Function: Expresses mutual, reciprocal action — the subject both performs and receives the action
• NT frequency: ~100 occurrences, always reciprocal

Consistent NT Usage

ἀλλήλοις is used throughout the New Testament, and in every single instance it means genuine mutual reciprocity — both parties act toward each other:

• "Love one another" (ἀγαπᾶτε ἀλλήλους) — John 13:34; Rom 13:8; 1 John 4:7 — everyone loves everyone
• "Serve one another" (δουλεύετε ἀλλήλοις) — Gal 5:13 — everyone serves everyone
• "Bear one another's burdens" (ἀλλήλων τὰ βάρη βαστάζετε) — Gal 6:2 — everyone bears burdens for everyone
• "Encourage one another" (παρακαλεῖτε ἀλλήλους) — 1 Thess 5:11 — everyone encourages everyone
• "Be kind to one another" (γίνεσθε εἰς ἀλλήλους χρηστοί) — Eph 4:32 — everyone is kind to everyone

No one argues that "love one another" means "some love others in one direction" or that "serve one another" means "subordinates serve superiors." The reciprocity is inherent and non-negotiable.

Ephesians 5:21 — The Heading Verse

"Submitting to one another (ἀλλήλοις) out of reverence for Christ." (Eph 5:21)

This verse functions as the heading for the entire household code that follows (5:22-6:9). The grammatical structure is clear: ὑποτασσόμενοι is a present middle participle dependent on the imperative "be filled with the Spirit" (5:18). Spirit-filled living produces mutual submission. Everything that follows — wives/husbands (5:22-33), children/parents (6:1-4), slaves/masters (6:5-9) — is an outworking of this mutual principle.

The Complementarian Redefinition

Complementarians (notably Wayne Grudem and Daniel Wallace) argue that ἀλλήλοις in Eph 5:21 does not mean genuine reciprocity but rather "some to others" — i.e., wives submit to husbands, but not vice versa. This argument requires ἀλλήλοις to mean something it never means anywhere else in the NT.

Grudem's argument relies on a few alleged parallels (Rev 6:4, "they slay one another") where he claims ἀλλήλους is not fully reciprocal. But even in these examples, the pronoun still describes mutual action within a group — people in the group are both killing and being killed. The reciprocity is corporate, not one-directional.

To accept the complementarian reading, you must believe that Paul used the most common reciprocal pronoun in Greek — a word that means "one another" in every other context — and expected his audience to understand it as "some to others in one direction." This is linguistically indefensible.

The Structural Argument

The placement of ἀλλήλοις in the heading verse of the household code is decisive. It sets the governing principle before the specific applications. The household relationships that follow (wife-husband, child-parent, slave-master) are examples of mutual submission, not exceptions to it. A husband who loves his wife as Christ loved the church (5:25) — giving himself up for her — is submitting to her. Mutual submission does not erase roles; it transforms how those roles are lived.

Additional References

• ὑποτασσόμενοι — the participle "submitting" that ἀλλήλοις modifies
• ἀλλήλων — the genitive form of the same reciprocal pronoun
• ὑποτάσσω — the root verb for submission
• Ephesians 5:18-33 — the full pericope including the household code