Lydia

“And one question I have is, why? Why is the focus on the women or what the wife does?”

I have studied CBMW writings for some time now and have several answers:

1. Because men are the “authority” teachers and this is what they teach.  If the “authority’ says this interpretation is correct, then it must be.

When they teach on the male ‘role’ they are vague as gengwell mentioned above: spiritual leader, final authority, etc. These are vague roles that can really cover just about anything the individual husband wants it to cover. They see themselves as God ordained authorities as both teachers and husbands. (Except that they should see themselves as servants. But they have managed to redefine servant as authority)

2. Because they must have women obeying these man made interpretations or the whole comp structure fails.  So, they teach this in a way that makes it sinful for a women not to obey. They teach it to make women think  that, in effect, she is NOT obeying God if she does not follow her ‘role’. So, this makes  the focus on women. And it makes her the sinner.  Have you noticed how they deal with abuse of various kinds? Piper says she should endure abuse for a season. See, she is righteous if she endures abuse. I often wonder if Piper would go to work each day and endure abuse from someone who claims to be a Christian? He could escape it by gong home. The wife cannot.

3. Many comp teachers talk about the husbands ‘role’ in such as way that is really silly. He is to love her…ok, how is that taught? Date night, flowers, telling her you love her. Very shallow sort of things.

Her “role” is to support him in whatever he does…this comes down to whatever he thinks she should do. Even down to being careful how you give driving instructions so that it won’t look like you are ‘teaching’ him.

It is all about elevating men. Which goes back to the fact that they must be  insecure about who they are in the first place. Otherwise this would not be such a huge issue that has become a mass  movement within Christianity and has more folks thinking about thier roles than their relationship with Christ.

What concerns me most is that they humanize spiritual counsel in Eph 5. The husband is NOT Christ. He is a fallen sinner saved by the same grace as the wife. But these men map themselves to Christ. Are not women to be Christlike, too?