Cheryl Schatz

Mark,
I would be honored to be known as your friend! These kinds of dialogs, I believe, are very helpful for understanding. It is my personal opinion that when there is a disagreement we all need to work first on understanding the other’s position and then work on presenting ours. For if we misrepresent the opposition we are unlikely to build bridges between Christians.

DO you feel that the comp position restricts people using gifts?

Yes, I do feel that the comp position has been very frustrating for women by restricting them. It is especially frustrating when women are treated as if they are so child-like that they have to have a rulebook that defines what they can and cannot do. Can they pray in church? Some say no. Can they be an usher and pass the offering plate from front to back. Lots say no. Can they baptize a new believer? There are so many restrictions that so many women cannot help but feel like a second class citizen.

But perhaps the most challenging situation is one that is not easily recognized and that is that men are left without some of God’s best gifts and their attitudes are adjusted even without their knowledge. When men are routinely kept away from women teachers they miss out on a balanced view from a whole other side of the 50% members of the body. Also keeping men away from women’s gifts does something to a man’s worldview. So many are tempted to either see women as less then men or they see men’s gifts as worth more than women’s gifts. After all, in their minds they don’t need women’s gifts so how important are these gifts? It is such a temptation to have an unChristlike attitude for comp men. I really don’t envy men in this area. It must be very hard for so many of them who naturally struggle with their egos.

I don’t think that is what is at hand, rather that comps want people to use their gifts in acoordance with how the bible instructs us to use them.

Then how come they spend so much of their time working on the restrictions rather than working on the opportunities?

When have you seen a Sunday set aside for women teachers to use their gifts and women encouraged to come and bring their friends? No restrictions at all. When are women encouraged to preach to other women? So many deny the use of women’s gifts in preaching even though the Scripture never says that women cannot preach to women even if we take the comp view. I think that we as the church have been so brainwashed to a tradition that we don’t even recognize what has happened to us. Kind of like boiling a frog. Apparently if you do a slow boil, the frog will stay in the water and won’t even jump out. Perhaps we have been slow-boiled to death!

I would also like to strongly emphasise, that although i am a comp, i in no way do not love my sisters in Christ any less.

You, sir, are very special! I so wish that there were more of you around. You are a pleasure to deal with!

The comp position doesn’t promote un-love towards women.

I do not think that they willingly promote an unloving attitude. However the very essence of the comp position is that the male has an authority over the woman and taking authority over another person’s will even if the male feels that he has a benevolent attitude, can do great harm.

My husband is a wonderful man. He thought that he was doing a loving act to make sure that I was not harmed by many things and that I got over my fears. In fact he took his authority over me right from the start on our honeymoon forcing me to the edge of a cliff to deal with my fears. It didn’t help me. And his habit of protecting me so that I didn’t have to deal with decisions by making wrong choices didn’t help me no matter how great his intention was. I needed to learn how to make wrong choices and then to get up and become mature through the process. So the comp way kept me stagnated for many years. It wasn’t until we dumped the comp model and made our model as the one-flesh and equal servant model that I started to grow in leaps and bounds. But if anyone wants to say that my husband was bad or had evil motives, they will have to face me. No one will get past me to question his motives. He tried his best to live out his responsibilities. The problem was that the responsibilities were tradition, not Scripture. It is God’s will that the body of Christ becomes a mature bride, not a dependent child-like one. The same for the human wives. The more mature I became and the more independent, the more my husband received honor from my growth. That was a gift to me and a gift to him.

I don’t think it is helpful for egals to see the comp position as one which is sexist or unloving.

If you could walk a mile in our shoes, perhaps you would understand. We are not questioning the motives of these dear men. We are questioning the model itself as unbiblical.

But that said, there are many people who would come across that way or even promote it. But this is not a true reflection of what the comp position is. Did i explain this well? Probably not as is my habit

I think you have a great heart. I am also quite confident that you actually live out an egalitarian-based marriage model. Most godly comps are mostly egalitarian in their marriages although they probably don’t like to admit it because that might make them feel like maybe they aren’t a true leader.

Lots to think about anyway!