Submission And Origin Of Authority
When is authority given and when can it be rightfully assumed. These are questions that have divided egalitarians and complementarians in the area of marriage
Date: 2010-06-02
URL: https://mmoutreach.org/wim/2010/06/02/submission-and-origin-of-authority/

When is authority given and when can it be rightfully assumed? These are questions that have divided egalitarians and complementarians in the area of marriage. While egalitarians generally will agree that submission is a characteristic of Spirit-filled Christians who love and respect the body of Christ, and who serve each other with love, complementarians say that husbands are never commanded to submit to their wives because husbands maintain a God-given sphere of authority that requires sacrifice and not submission. To a complementarian, submission is always something given to an authority. Since they don’t believe that a wife has authority over a husband they refuse to submit to their wives. Is this Biblical?
In order to refuse submission as a Christ-like action and/or attitude of both spouses in marriage, they must reject that the reciprocal “to one another” in Ephesians 5:21 really does mean “one to another”. Instead, they are forced to interpret the inspired reciprocal and change it to mean “some to others” as in “Christians who are subject to authority” are to submit to “those in authority”. This makes it a one-way submission and it adds the condition of authority when no such condition exists. It also noodles with the inspired text to remove the inspired reciprocal nature of the term to one another. This is one of the weak links in the complementarian argument.
First of all let’s prove that Ephesians 5:21 has the reciprocal. Note the screen print below of the Greek and the reciprocal grammar:

If God had meant that Christians are to submit to authorities in the church, then why didn’t God God just say it like that in Ephesians 5:21 like He did in Romans 13:1?
Romans 13:1 (NASB) Every person is to be in subjection to the governing authorities…
Note that in Romans 13:1, the ones to be under submission are clearly noted as “every person” and those to whom they are to submit themselves to is ” the governing authorities”. Romans 13:1 is clearly about the requirement for all to submit themselves to the secular governmental authority. But Ephesians 5:21 is not like the one-sided submission of Romans 13:1. Rather Ephesians 5:21 makes the submission linked to mutuality.
Some may say that the three groups that follow verse 21 are examples of one-sided submission so verse 21 cannot be reciprocal. But we cannot allow our bias to distort the clear word of Scripture. The most important issue is that it is God who said the submission is to be reciprocal by His inspiring Paul’s words and grammar. Secondly God supported this reciprocal nature of submission in chapter 6.
Ephesians 6:7 (NASB) With good will render service, as to the Lord, and not to men,
The Greek term for “render service” means to be a slave, serve, subject oneself (active) and further to act or conduct oneself as one in total service to another. See below the subjection (submission) that is part of the “service” that is given from the slave to the master.

Paul goes on in verse 9 to present the reciprocal nature of the submission:
Ephesians 6:9 (NASB) And masters, do the same things to them, …
The same things that these Christian masters are to do is what their slaves were to do for them. Their slaves were to be subjected to them and serve them. God shows that the masters are to do the same.
This is the Christian doctrine of mutual submission. The submission is not just for slaves but for their masters too! In the same way, husbands are to be a part of mutual submission and they are not a special class that is exempt from Christian submission. (Eph. 5:21)
So what does this mutual submission look like in practice between husbands and wives, parents and children and slaves and masters? It isn’t hard to envision. It is two-fold submission that is expressed in willing service. Submission is also expressed as a willingness to receive God’s gifts through the other brother or sister in Christ. Let’s see this submission in action:
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A wife has a busy day and needs to put together a meal before she leaves for her Bible study when she realizes that she forgot to purchase milk for the children. When her husband comes in the door, she asks him to go to the store to pick up the milk for the meal. Her husband willing submits to his wife’s request.
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A Father tired after a long day lays back in his easy chair to relax after dinner when his four-year-old son asks him to read him a bedtime Bible story. The Father submits to the request of his young son and goes to his son’s bed to read him a Bible story and tuck him into bed.
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A servant has a teaching from the Scriptures that he will be giving to the congregation and his master submits to learn from the teaching that his own servant brings.
Notice that in all three examples the one who submits himself to the other one is not obligated to submit because the other person has authority over him. Rather he submits because it is the right thing to do. It is a Christian humility that puts himself under another person’s need or the submission is given to the brother or sister in order to receive a gift that the other person has for them. This is the face of reciprocal submission.
But most complementarians cannot even think about submission without re-defining submission as a response to an authority that is over them. But is Christian submission as defined by Ephesians 5:21 really to be assumed as an attachment of a God-given authority even though God never says that? Are we really to assume that God gave masters their authority over their slaves? The fact is that this reasoning was rejected a lot of years ago as a man-made system that was never authorized by God. So is the authority that husbands believe they have over their wife a God-given authority? Like the authority of the master, the authority of the husband is also never established by God.
So what is the unique authority that complementarians say that the husband has been given over the wife? Complementarians are not in agreement over the extent of the authority. Some say that husbands have the final say in every decision of the marriage and home. Others add that the husband’s authority is to love his wife and sacrifice for her. However, they can’t seem to explain how the husband’s authority is not also the wife’s when she loves and sacrifices for him.
What I would like to do is challenge complementarians to give a Biblical example of the one-sided submission that they believe must be given by wives to their husbands but is not allowed for husbands to do for their wives (i.e. a non-reciprocal submission)? Let’s have a look at your examples and discuss the Biblical passages that originate that type of submission.
I will give the first example as one that Mark gave in the comment section on the last post. Mark said:
Gal 5:13 is a prime example of the husbands role as husband. The husband is called to love his wife like Christ did the Church. IN Gal we are told to ‘through love serve one another’, so yes i would through love serve my wife.
I ask, what kind of love is the husband called to give that is not allowed for his wife to love him back in the same way? What kind of service is not allowed for a wife that is only allowed for a husband? In what way is this a role that is unique to a husband and where does the authority come from to command an application of a service to apply solely to the husband?
Thoughts?
Just the perseus site
There is no doubt that setting oneself under a person is only to be there to lift up or to receive. It has nothing to do with an involuntary action that would be demanded by one in authority.
…or her father, or an uncle if her father is dead.
…or if her father and other male relatives are unbelievers or not the “right kind” of believers.
I’m terribly disappointed that Mark, NN or any comp/hier. hasn’t posted an answer yet.
LOL, gengwall.
Now Kay. Don’t you know that you are too deceived and deceptive to know that what you perceive as a contradiction is actually perfectly logical?
LOL
I wonder if some of you might consider taking your wonderful polite and insightful dialogue over to Parchment and pen to assist with the discussion.
http://www.reclaimingthemind.org/blog/2010/02/why-women-cannot-be-head-pastors/
TL – I would love to but as the author so politely points out – there is no debate allowed.
Mark,
I resent the personal comments to you regarding our private debate. Let me know if they didn’t come through.
Mark,
What I have been asking from you is to show us how submission works under your understanding. Please give examples of how a wife is to submit that is something that a man cannot do for her. Are you able to answer this?
70 Mark,
You said:
However, why do you assume therefore that authority cannot exist? Why is it, that you actually contradict the meaning of this verb?
The meaning of the Greek verb does not force authority before one can submit. Look again at my comment #2. Now think about this. Is Paul using “submit” in a military way regarding relationships? He cannot be using it this way because it would be nonsense. You have not yet answered the specific grammar of reciprocity in the verb “submit”. All you have done is to try to use “reason” to deny it. That is because when you start out with the wrong meaning for a word that says that one must be submitting to an authority or power over them, it makes no sense to tell a master to submit to his slave. But the fact is that Ephesians 6 tells master to do to their slaves what their slaves are to do to them. It is reciprocal in nature because Paul is not using an authority base. We can understand that the slave has no authority over the master so the submission is not possible to be authority based. But the fact that the master is to act in a reciprocal way shows that Paul is talking about respectful Christian behavior not about authority based authority. Thus we can submit to our children’s needs even though they don’t have authority over us. And husbands can submit to their wives needs even though they don’t have authority over their husbands.
Just saying it is a voluntary action is nothing spectacularly enilightening. You have jumped from voluntary to therefore not under authority, which is a complete reversal of it’s use in the Bible.
Ephesians 6 blows this out of the water. To argue that submission is always because there is an authority is made nonsense by Paul’s requiring masters to do for their slaves the same things that their slaves are required to do for them. How complementarians can ignore the very next chapter really does mind-boggle me. They are sometimes so “authority” minded that they are no “earthly” good.
do you believe Church leaders have authority over you? Do they force you to obey and punish you as you describe?
Church leaders have no God-given authority over individuals and this is why it is the church themselves that are to discipline those who are sinning. It is the body that has authority. No church leader can demand submission. This is why we are told to submit to them willingly so that their work is not a grief since they are to watch over us to protect us. They can’t protect us if we refuse to submit.
The problem again seems to be that authority equals ‘demands’ or ‘forcing’ something in your view.
This is the accepted meaning of authority. In fact the very first definition of authority means:
the power to determine, adjudicate, or otherwise settle issues or disputes; jurisdiction; the right to control, command, or determine.
What does God’s authority mean? It means that He has the power and the right to control and to command and for dissenters He has the right to punish. What would authority mean if God had no right or power to enforce His authority? The fact that He has the power and the right to demand and then punish proves that He has legitimate authority. Where is the husband’s legitimate proof of authority?
You are using words that overstate both what comp teaches and what submission means.
Again submission is not the difference between us but it is the authority that is the difference. We submit in love to one who cannot demand our submission. Your position is that the wife submits in love but her submission is also to one who has the right to take authority over her will should she not submit willingly. He then has a “right” to make a decision without her submission. This is where we depart ways.
You need to show me how submitting voluntarily therefore means that authority is irrelevant since this seems to be the crux of your argument.
First of all there is no authority needed if the submission is voluntary. Secondly there is no authority ever given by God to the husband over his wife so we insist on legitimate authority not illegitimate authority that is a usurping of God’s authority without His permission. Since you have shown no evidence to prove that God has given husband’s God’s delegation of authority, how is it that I am to respond to a relevant authority argument when no such authority has been established? I have been arguing that proper God-given authority has “teeth”. It has the authority to punish disobedience. Yet comps appear to teach an authority with no “teeth”, which is a clear indication to me that such “authority” is not God-given.
Please stay away from words (all egals) like tyranny, force, demands, abuse, etc etc.
Fine. I just did. I have shown that there is no “authority” given to the husband that would allow for punishment of non-compliance. If this was true authority, it would be the only authority that I am aware of that has no “teeth”. Not a good sign at all, my friend.
I’ve run outta time…
I do hope that you are able to come back to answer my questions and especially to show your view of comp submission. I have given you an egal understanding of willing submission of one to another without authority that would by the very nature of an authority demand such submission. What I would like to see from you is examples of wifely submission to her “authority” that are not things that a husband would ever do for his wife. What are such unique acts of “submission to authority” life in your viewpoint? I would love to see them.
Thanks for your consideration.
Okay, back to answering Mark from #56,
Again it is not helpful to criticise pastors or churches who attempt to give some instruction on this issue. We must not import our 21st century society back into the Bible and demand answers as we wish. It is not a flaw in the comp position, in as much as it is not a flaw in the egal pos. Neither can offer direct biblical teaching on the issue.
I think that it is valid to criticize pastors and churches who create rules that are not based in the Bible. When single women are instructed to find a church leader to take the position of “head” while she is single, this is going beyond the Scripture.
The issue again is whether a woman needs a man to be in authority over her? If she needs this, then a single woman would have to be looking for someone to take authority over her and to make her decisions when there is disagreement. But the Scripture never assigns a head/body relationship for a single woman. She is never told that she needs to find a “head”. She is never instructed to be under the authority of a man or that she has a need of an authority. Rather it is said that she has freedom to serve the Lord as she is. When complementarians go beyond the Scripture to carry on the myth that women need an authority, they actually harm women who can become convinced that they are not to seek for maturity, but to seek for a man as authority.
as to your 3 examples in your thread, be careful not to confuse submit with service. Again here are the two definitions.
Serve- “perform duties or services for”
Submit-“accept or yield to a superior force or stronger person”>
First of all the definition I was giving for submit was to submit to the other person’s need. While service is a way to submit to the other person’s need, it goes beyond service. They are not the exact same thing.
Now you give the meaning of submit as yielding to a superior force or stronger person, but while submit can mean this it doesn’t always imply force or strength of the other person.
In the English this come through by meaning #7 from http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/submit
- to defer to another’s judgment, opinion, decision, etc
To defer to someone’s opinion doesn’t mean that they are a stronger person or have a superior force. It implies willing submission to another’s opinion. When you leave out the full range of definitions you are trying to stack the deck on your side. That doesn’t come across as very fair to hide meanings that are even in the English but which are not consistent with your own view. I think it is far better to consider the full evidence and not be afraid to see things outside of our own viewpoint.
So when a husband goes and buys milk, is he serving or submitting?
He is submitting to his wife’s need. In the process of submitting to her need, he is serving her. Service is a vital part of submission but service does not deny submission.
This is the fundamental difference, and egalitarians should stop confusing the two (or combining the two).
Under the definition of service:
the serving of god by obedience, piety, etc.: voluntary service.
Here we can see that voluntary submission can also be called voluntary service. While submission goes beyond service, it certainly is the same as service in many areas thus our submission to God can be called our voluntary service. When the comps ignore the connection of the two, they appear to deny that a man is also to give service to his wife when clearly service is attached to submission.
Okay I have to run now and will be back as I am able.
TUAD is a hater.
I truly don’t understand the friction that this discussion (and many like it) generates.
Why are some Christians opposed to the notion of mutual submission in marriage? What do they perceive are the problems of mutual submission? Do we even understand what submission is?
Perhaps submission is just the opposite of rebellion.
I few times in the NT the word for submission (hypotasso) is used with an alpha prefix. (This is equivalent to an “un”, denoting the opposite.) The KJV translates this word as “unruly” in Titus 1:6 & 10. The NIV translates it as “rebellious”. (This word is also used in 1 Timothy1:9.)
I continue to believe that mutual submission is God’s ideal in the marriage relationship.
http://newlife.id.au/equality-and-gender-issues/submission-in-marriage/
Elastigirl,
I love this:
The buzz words of “mutual submission” in ordinary language is simply “treating others the way you want to be treated”
That about sums it all up.
But hierarchalists don’t agree that husbandly or even fatherly submission is honorable in Christ, because it demeans the authority of the man.
This is horrible.
Certainly discerning the finer points of truth requires words, but i’m quite certain that truth in its purest form is rather plain.
Absolutely.
pinklight,
Those are very deep questions. Good job!
Thanks Cheryl, I hope he answers them!
We go round and round over words…am trying to get to the bottom of the bottom.
SM, looks like he’s left you hanging @67. Er maybe he’s just been busy hopefully and will be back to answer. That would be cool.
SM – the stock answer I have heard to your question is “God set it up that way and who are we to question why God did that”
Hey but the stock answer is what makes it so much fun, don’t ya think lol Me thinks so 😛 because it’s so revealing. And what is there that gets revealed? Nothing LOL
Egal: Why?
Comp: I dunno? God said so.
Egal: Way to go!
LOL
Good point Lydia, but they would probably accuse you of muddying the waters by bringing in things that don’t pertain to marriage.
110 Yep!
117
SM, I completely agree. Awesome comment. I look at it the same way.
His commands and precepts are based on sound reason for sure.
Thanks, Pinklight!
125
That way really great gengwall. Today’s favorite comment! 🙂
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